So a lot of people ask me why I have this web site. I mean, I don’t seek fame or notoriety or things of that nature. The truth of the matter is that since I am not a homo and don’t need a therapist, this serves as a therapy of sorts. I am able to let all my filthy demons at of the bag. Also, anyone reading this is just as guilty as I am for my actions, nobody can sit in judgement of me. And yes, if you listen to my stories, that makes you an accomplice. Today I am telling you a story that I have only told one other person. For this story, I must take you back.
It was 1999 and while the world was caught up in Y2K hysteria, and the worst band ever, LFO.
I was in college. I was just coming out of a 3 year relationship and sewing some wild oats. Which now that I write “sewing wild oats”, it makes me think that it is a retarded term. Anyhow, the girl that I dated for three long years had a very healthy sexual appetite, but was horrible in bed. There is a cute trick to play on a young lad like myself. I was going out and seeing the world. By world I of course mean random vaginas. I was also still pretty new to this whole fad called the Internet, so I was learning quickly. I was just a wide eyed boy of wonder who was about to learn more then he really was prepared for.
One of the people I met during this time was a lady who sat next to me in my marketing class. I said lady because she was 37. So she was the old bitch in the class. She was pretty cool though, always cracking jokes about the same people I did. We always talked and eventually exchanged numbers and e mail addresses. We started e mailing back and forth and it wasn’t long after the semester ended when she decided to share some of her special pictures with me. Now, this was when digital cameras were not very common so the pictures that she sent were so big that I could scroll down for 5 minutes and not be done seeing labia. That is a big snatch.
Naturally she ended up offering to show me in public and as a naive 20 year old, I of course had to jump at the chance. We ended up hooking up several times over the course of the next couple months and let me say, it was perfect. I would either get an e mail or a phone call with something romantic like “come over”, and I would go. She would have the lights off, usually at least partially naked and we would go to her room. There was no talking or foreplay. I even wore my Addias tear away pants just to make the process go much smoother.
There was no problem with me leaving right after either. Everything was going good for awhile, even though one of her kids caught us fucking at least a half dozen times. She was such a good mother, she would put him back to bed, then go finish off the man who was in her bed. That would be me. Now, I know you are thinking that this sounds good, so why did it all end? It all took one night. The night that changed it all.
It was a night like any other when I went over to her house, lights out, straight to her room for the main event. She starts with going down on me. Now, with my previous girlfriend, in 3 years, she went down on me once, and it was horrible. Yes girls, you can and most likely are terrible at it. Don’t tell me that guys tell you that you are good. 98 percent of girls are absolutely atrocious at giving head. This lady wasn’t particularly outstanding, but like I explained about the previous 3 years, I was loving it. Now I am going to ask you to use your imagination on parts of this in order to get the full visual effect.
We are in a partial 69. She is going down on me and her legs are just to the side of my head. I am not a jerk, I am playing good old stink finger with her. Hey, I am a giver, what can I say. She is really getting into it, and she demands that I use more then one finger, which is fine because she is old, had kids, she needs a little more. I understand. She still demands more and more. She eventually lays spread eagle on the bed and suggests that I use my whole hand.
Yeah, my whole hand. Now I have seen pictures of fisting on the Internet, but I just assumed it was some weird shit that only Asians do. I don’t know why, but I figured why not. I slowly move up to 3, 4 and then 5 fingers. Pretty soon, my entire hand, past my wrist is in. I even made this diagram for you.
Yes, I even gave myself a black hand.
I was getting frustrated because she seemed to demand more and more. I wish I could of seen my expression at this time because I know my face would of been that of wide eyed amazement. She keeps demanding more and more and even suggests a second hand. This is more of a science experiment then anything at this time. I didn’t figure that you could ever fit a second hand in, but I was proven wrong.
Now, here I am throwing rabbit punches directly into cervix. This is no joke.
By no means was this a comfortable position. Here I am, basically wearing vagina handcuffs. I was waiting for someone to come in and rob me. It would of been a great plan. Now, she seems to really be into this. She seems to be enjoying this, and what the hell, I am watching this in the same way a farm boy first looks at the Empire State Building.
She does get off, and when she did, she tightened those vaginal muscles with the force a freight train. I thought she was going to break my fucking wrists. So she is laying there, spent, and I am laying down like a Chinese fucking acrobat, with two fists inside of one vagina. It actually takes a good 5 minutes of straining and pain before I finally freed my hands. I am just thankful we didn’t have to call an ambulance.
She wasn’t done. She still wanted to have sex after this. Now, I don’t care how big you think you are, you can not follow two fists. This is what I am pretty much having to deal with.
Truth be told, I wasn’t even in the mood to finish. I still did, but it was strictly as a courtesy for her. There is a point where a vagina is just destroyed, and I am sure she was at that point. Needless to say, I never really had the desire to have sex with her again. But once again, I still did it a couple more times.
Now, if that didn’t make me stop seeing her, what finally did it. I don’t know if it was her wanting multiple guys on her at once, me being one of the sausages at the party, or if it was her numerous e mails suggesting golden showers. I have peed many places, and on many things, but I was not ready to pee on her. Now, if she were to ask me today, I would happily oblige, but that is because any innocence I had is long gone. If you are out there Alicia, yes, that is her real name, then I want you to know that you turned that sweet innocent boy into this guy.
I hope you are happy with yourself.